How can I make an Überfood?

Sounds like you want Nutraloaf. If you search google you will undoubtedly find recipes for this abomination. It is designed to meet nutritional needs while minimizing the need for utensils. You did say taste and texture weren't important.

Do a search for Pemmican recipes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pemmican

Done correctly, you can balance the proteins, fat, carbs, etc. needed for a high calorie diet required for living in the cold outdoors. Does it taste good? It really depends on the recipe used.

Pizza and Salad.

You don't have to prepare every day, maybe once a week or twice for salad. Salad cutting can be easily accomplished with one of those slap dicing things.

Pizza: make four large doughs with some whole grain in them. Add ingredients to optimize fat, protein, etc. Cook one pizza every two days, fridge the rest. After a few weeks, you'll be able to do your weeks cooking in a couple of hours, and your food will be DELICIOUS.

When I was single, though, I ate nothing but beef, some bread, and lots of fresh fruit at home, which seemed to work just fine for me. Didn't have to think much, didn't have to cook for long, and had meals that were hot, fresh, and delicious.

Another option is to add a crock pot to your life. Buy some stuff on sunday, chop it up, fridge it, and then make a big pot of whatever (beans and rice, red lentils and couscous, beef stew, etc) and eat it until it runs out. Then set another big pot to cook overnight and eat it in the morning. Repeat as necessary, again supplementing with fresh fruits and vegetables as desired/convenient. Beef Stew is pretty damn close to an überfood if you use the right recipe, and so are beans and rice.

The best advice I ever heard on cooking and eating was this: "Eat Food. Not too much. Mostly plants."

One thing I've learned recently with regards to food is that there are some things your body needs that simply must be alive shortly before you consume them. If you have money, find a service/store with prepared & nutritionally balanced food. If you have time, study up on the kinds of things you can make. If you have no money or time, now you see how the US got mired in this fast-food culture.

That said, oatmeal & stirfry can take care of 2 meals a day and wrap up most nutritional needs. As was mentioned in comments, variety is important (in large part to hold off various health problems that may crop up due to factors too complicated to predict).

Fun reading, check out some of the studies done on populations with the best health, and what their diets consisted of.